Banality of Existence

There is a lingering unease. It is my second day at work and this is my first time experiencing the banality of the corporate world so intimately. There are five people on my team, all slightly odd. Odd in regards to their insufficient existence. The ordinariness is appalling, scary even. All of us seem like easily disposable and replaceable cogs for the system, expendables. I often feel worthless but this is an entirely other level of despondency. It is as if a curtain has lifted, revealing in excruciating detail the triviality of people like us. With all out self importance and airs here we are.

There is a guy named Z.A and the stench of self importance and thoughtless conditioning is oozing out of him nearly suffocating me. A regular pump out of the Pakistani nationalism and Islamisation factory. He keeps talking about how Islam has proven to be the better religion and asks us to watch videos of islamic miracles. A guy read a particular arabic dua and ate poison and survived. That sort of bullshit seems to satisfy him. Maybe I demand too much of faith. His manner of talking is very priestly, he tells us random shit in a very revelatory manner, as if it ought to change our lives. Like watching videos of miracles on YouTube or drinking senna makki green tea to lose weight. He is very smug. Acts like he knows whats really going on, likes hes in on some conspiracy that the rest of us have been excluded from. Keeps talking about how rich his family is. It is fascinating. How centered and anchored he must feel. Attaching a vulgar sense of importance to inconsequential things. Blah. Good for him. He is sweet, just too conditioned for my liking. He brought us senna maki to lose weight, I love that, traces of humanity in unexpected places.

We took our DPPAA (i changed the name, dont google) tests today and got our certification. A meaningless achievement, serves no purpose does no good, but everyone seems validated. Lets see if I sell out and start deriving my sense of self from such crap.