Sleepless

Last night was one of those nights when its either too hot or too cold and you have to suffer for the weathers indecisiveness. I couldnt sleep and turned over every time the weather decided to switch it up, kept thinking about whats happening and telling myself Im insane then briefly letting myself get carried away in new hope, which is probaly mankinds biggest temptation, the fastest route to ruin. Then again giving myself the regular reminder of not getting too comfortable in my own insanity.

Anyways the weathers indecisiveness got to me and as it changed from hot to cold to a restless nothing so did my thoughts waver from one to another. I thought about you and how it feels like to be seen, even for a moment, on swings or dhabas or in crowds, in places you least expect to be and the thrill that comes with it. Or rather how the delusion of being seen comes about and goes. How with time the layers of those delusions are pulled apart and we are subjected to a misery of our creation, created by a cruel desperation, which when prolonged leads to hope which leads to us creating illusions and resting in their shade for some time, till we are rested enough to clearly see through them again.

All we need to get by, to trudge our breaths along, one after the other, like battle weary footsteps of a solider, is a message, a thought, a memory to makes us smile during the dreariness of work days or routine social engagements or when we sit with our thoughts by chance, which lifts us out of our material prison and offers a momment of respite and I pity a life which does not even spare us this.